Home away away away

To the meticulous bubbles of metal. I am wagging my tale as my form of word chuckle. Chucking words to woods to enchant them with heartfelt rhythm when they land and glance the listening leaves. He has eyes for hands and highs for his lows and vows. Head tucking in to commit to memory the casting of the spell. She does likewise but without all the ritual hooplah, in fact the trees had already responded. My wishes are 'lines' that I cast from a fishing rod, the achievement of the wish is the willingness both to wait for the catch (pun,) and act on the opportunity. Just like a fish a wish doesn't just hop on to your hook at will. But once your will is what Nature finds tasty s/he'll bite and feed you life after a worthy fight. Give a good reason for your wish to bite! And fish don't just tread anywhere, they stroll (oldschoolstyle) in water. I hope to hear the spools reeling in the wet lines. So find the right 'water' to reel in the glimpse of your new reeality. somfins completely tea leafy different...Markinch on the Leuchars Edinburgh line is a charming wee toun. I have yet to see someone from it who does not have a glowing smile. Two Markinchians joined me on the train on their way to Kaiser Chiefs. Pay Day, Pante Rei. Praying Mantis puts on his boxing gloves and is ready with open wings. Enjoyring the mellowring. Yronwode. Thunderclaps! Frightened pets jump in owners' laps. Spinning into my den. This is me leaving you short shrift! (8hrs sleep) Thorsday Feb. 26, 09 of this wierd calendar.

Tantra's Car, Tantraskar, Tantrascar

What is the trinity (to me, now)?

Trinity to me are these three:
Anatomically and energetically and then "awarely." Anatomically and energetically there is a "Left, Feminine," side and the "Right, Masculine" side and then the part of you that controls both sides. The part of you that controls both sides is your awareness. Three united, yoked by working together awarely. Live out the dynamic of the world of the opposites through observing that world from "beyond opposites."

And then my views on the now and the akashic record (and how that is beyond a personal history--beyond the collective unconscious as well--in a world that is both unconscious and conscious at the same time). Conscious and pragmatic male, unconscious and CREATIVE female. And we should worship that creative and untamed feminine creatress aspect of ourselves.

ok I have much more but I'll leave it till later.

are we ah? aria? area code?

The first words I wrote this morning were "Finnegan's Wake" and then the girl next to me at work today left early because she had to go to a "wake." This doesn't mean anything that's what makes it beautiful.

Jai Guruve Thunai!

What should I leave to the imagination?

What am I intending to do here? .... That, fellow earth-fellows, should NEVER (in this small instance) be asked of the writer. Intending to share one mind to many? Or is it sharing one mind with many? Or are many sharing one mind? Intending many to share one mind. Many intended to share one mind. Is the sharing of mind...is the will to share the mind the will to power? My will will be this deed. My deed will be this will. My will will will this deed. And then to be painfully over-the-top and under-the-bottom: "my will will will this will." So what I am getting at is that the action, "deed," becomes the intention. The intention becomes formed through taking the chance to act. By taking the chance of acting you then learn that you are an actor. And then by not questioning your act, you then learn what your part is...or what the "intention" of the author of your part was. So since you ARE that author you then learn your own intention...but you had to innocently take part in your own production beforehand. Afterhand you can stumble into a different mire...scene change, act change, even play change...then when we die...playwright change...and with it the accompanying reality tunnel change. The light at the end of the tunnel is the possibility of another, upcoming production. A new recipe of ions, packed abstract ions...the things that experience bliss because they can't experience anything, but even the ACT of not experiencing is an experience--a formless experience even though ions and atoms are very formal...formful...full of harmonious geometric form. Genometric form...genoform genotype...this gene here (moi) is typing using these things (hands, keys, screens, thoughts) these abstract ions formal abstractions...to, in the end, make a real mess of things...methinks. Meme-blinks, logon logos, log off Paul Bunyans.

Ok back to me and my corralling in of intelligence...intelligences, my herding in of dot dot dots...my flock of dot dot dots...

The words are sheep, my mind is their shepherds staff.

Jesus is the kind mind....the Good Shepherd.

The good Shepherd looks after all of his thoughts rescuing even the lamest of them from extinction.

Jesus is my mind once it has cast off its mortal shell (I'm going to hell for such a cheesy line). The mortal shell I will define in that clause as being that which, in me, has stopped looking after the young lambs in its fold. The young lambs are the innocent thoughts, the childish thoughts, the fantastical thoughts, the flexible circular thoughts...the thoughts that know that if they fall they will fall into the arms of the mother ("mother" here I will define as God the father hehehe). So a mortal (one who dies) is not a good shepherd because he lets the young kids fall of the steep slope of the concept of age. The only way to summit the mountain of age is to be young and small enough to follow a different gravity. Gravity plays different roles on us, differently with youthful souls and another way with those who've got worn out soles. A ghost is someone who dies lonely. You can only die alone...you can only live in company. Life is sharing death is the lonely Oneness of the Almighty. (Again I can't help but using jargon like: oneness, god, almighty, soul, mortal, energy etc. because it kind of lets me hide behind these semantic trees, I can feel cool in their shade and hope the reader has forgotten how pathetic I may be sounding).

Aeortal, aorta, ee orr, eye orb. I feel that I have a million souls in me and now central command. And all of these lost souls have different talents and faults, the only way I can begin to learn about them is through letting them play their parts in my head without judging them. The minute I judge my thoughts and make them feel guilty around me they will hide the actions that bring them pleasure from me. Isn't that one of the funny things about life (and the life in my head) is that the things that you hide from others once they become judgemental of you are the things that bring you pleasure!!! So that means that whatever you share with this judgemental "other" will not be you, "sharing your joy, your bliss." Ok I'm gonna rephrase this several times so that it actual secretes the right cocktail of neuronal firings in my head to have it solidify at least for a short while. Ok so the minute you fear the judgement, or punishment, of some "other"--who somehow in the chain-of-command which you perceive has "power" over you--you will feel guilty about the things that make you happy. Then you only experience pleasure behind their backs. So that, sadly, when you are with them (the judge.mental one) the pleasures that you tell them are your pleasure are, in fact, lies...so you are acting in front of them in a way that you think they want to see you.

So, the minute I judge my thoughts its like i'm telling them to come back in disguise.

And when they come in disguise I will not know they are my friends.

When they are in disguise they turn up in dreams as monsters, demons (according to me at this moment). Or they turn up as fetishes that you can't understand why they've taken hold of you.

My vices are the culmination of the thoughts that I have REJECTED in the past.

Its like turning down your child who is cold and wet and shivering at the door. Leaving him in the cold because he was drunk...if you leave him cold at the door then, just wait and see what he looks like the next time he comes knocking.

Never interfere with others worldview. Show your thoughts that you are "LOVE." Then when they come to you with they're problems...you will learn that they, the troubled ones, are your TEACHERS. If you let your thoughts come to you naturally...and they will. They will because you are a magnet they come to you because now they see you are love...

Even the naked prostitute (someone who "should" in some Old Testament moral axis feel SHAMEFUL) will come an wash your feet with her hair.

I can only imagine they dreams I will have when I know that my thoughts can come to me with enough confidence to show their weak side.

Ok so here it is. What a "dream" would life become if all the tough guys, the monsters, came to you and shared the side of themselves in which they feel most naked. They will never come to someone who is preaching (there is a sick paradox in what I'm doing right now) . I have really resonated with the words that the thought I was just "with" produced though. And when it boils down to it I cannot judge myself ("the one," not the many thoughts) for preaching because, in fact, for ME ME ME that is the most naked I feel. I feel most naked when I'm preaching because I'm revealing a side of myself that I feel very guilty about. So you see, I am showing you who I really am by saying what I'm saying. So what you see is what you get. I am not trying to hide behind talking about current events, or other people's books. I find that a big fortification that I/WE hide within, at times, is when I talk about other people, "smart" people's ideas. That's the problem with intellectual conversations for me, is that they are talking about others and running away from themselves sometimes. See how I'm denouncing intellectuals now? See, that's crazy to be denouncing them...you see that a fascist thought bubbled up on to this e-page there that I unintentionally exposed...I have just been damning the intellectuals...that is sad and very funny.

The best thing to do is nothing.

Feel everything around you...react to it in the least turbulent way possible as long as it ensures your survival. The minute your survival is in danger FIGHT. Because if your life is in danger that means that consciousness is judging you...and like I said we don't stand for that type of reality tunnel.

Ok I have to sign off...and go for my hour break to a steam room to think about nothing. Or maybe better, to be nothing. This verbal splurge has been paid for by the Law Firm that employs me.

Amen

Aum.

n

Philosopher's Tone: Aham Brahmasmi!

Tag: You Are it, It are You. I ARE IT. IT AM WE. WE AM WE. That are I. Orion. Keep your eye on the ball...sun. Sontag. I am that son up above. Jove's one. Love just a light in the sky. Stars minitars. Minotaurs. Rats and comet tails, coming at us one my one. Comas nebulas penumbral tours. Stars beached on the shore of a sandy horizon gleaming through the sand. Our eyes on the Horizon. We live in the Zone of Horus. I can cope with this dimension with open eyes. Energy eyes let them pour out psychic milk into your AJNA the unified one-pointed cerebral centeredness that will tickle our mercurial side. This

Its starting and the eyebrows need to come down...

Hearts are around now that are getting ready to come together.
Let the determination of these hearts be the plow that guides us through the field of wisdom.

Teaching my first ny Tantra Yoga Level 1 class this evening at 7:30.

Spoke with Holsome Teas down in Princeton about setting up Teacher Training with Yogiraj Lingam.

Kali Yuga....time for action, thought-freeing action. When we guide ourselves through chance, chance becomes our guide. One needs faith to choose chance as a guide.

Needing to set up practice venues all around this place.

No time to not be great...