What should I leave to the imagination?

What am I intending to do here? .... That, fellow earth-fellows, should NEVER (in this small instance) be asked of the writer. Intending to share one mind to many? Or is it sharing one mind with many? Or are many sharing one mind? Intending many to share one mind. Many intended to share one mind. Is the sharing of mind...is the will to share the mind the will to power? My will will be this deed. My deed will be this will. My will will will this deed. And then to be painfully over-the-top and under-the-bottom: "my will will will this will." So what I am getting at is that the action, "deed," becomes the intention. The intention becomes formed through taking the chance to act. By taking the chance of acting you then learn that you are an actor. And then by not questioning your act, you then learn what your part is...or what the "intention" of the author of your part was. So since you ARE that author you then learn your own intention...but you had to innocently take part in your own production beforehand. Afterhand you can stumble into a different mire...scene change, act change, even play change...then when we die...playwright change...and with it the accompanying reality tunnel change. The light at the end of the tunnel is the possibility of another, upcoming production. A new recipe of ions, packed abstract ions...the things that experience bliss because they can't experience anything, but even the ACT of not experiencing is an experience--a formless experience even though ions and atoms are very formal...formful...full of harmonious geometric form. Genometric form...genoform genotype...this gene here (moi) is typing using these things (hands, keys, screens, thoughts) these abstract ions formal abstractions...to, in the end, make a real mess of things...methinks. Meme-blinks, logon logos, log off Paul Bunyans.

Ok back to me and my corralling in of intelligence...intelligences, my herding in of dot dot dots...my flock of dot dot dots...

The words are sheep, my mind is their shepherds staff.

Jesus is the kind mind....the Good Shepherd.

The good Shepherd looks after all of his thoughts rescuing even the lamest of them from extinction.

Jesus is my mind once it has cast off its mortal shell (I'm going to hell for such a cheesy line). The mortal shell I will define in that clause as being that which, in me, has stopped looking after the young lambs in its fold. The young lambs are the innocent thoughts, the childish thoughts, the fantastical thoughts, the flexible circular thoughts...the thoughts that know that if they fall they will fall into the arms of the mother ("mother" here I will define as God the father hehehe). So a mortal (one who dies) is not a good shepherd because he lets the young kids fall of the steep slope of the concept of age. The only way to summit the mountain of age is to be young and small enough to follow a different gravity. Gravity plays different roles on us, differently with youthful souls and another way with those who've got worn out soles. A ghost is someone who dies lonely. You can only die alone...you can only live in company. Life is sharing death is the lonely Oneness of the Almighty. (Again I can't help but using jargon like: oneness, god, almighty, soul, mortal, energy etc. because it kind of lets me hide behind these semantic trees, I can feel cool in their shade and hope the reader has forgotten how pathetic I may be sounding).

Aeortal, aorta, ee orr, eye orb. I feel that I have a million souls in me and now central command. And all of these lost souls have different talents and faults, the only way I can begin to learn about them is through letting them play their parts in my head without judging them. The minute I judge my thoughts and make them feel guilty around me they will hide the actions that bring them pleasure from me. Isn't that one of the funny things about life (and the life in my head) is that the things that you hide from others once they become judgemental of you are the things that bring you pleasure!!! So that means that whatever you share with this judgemental "other" will not be you, "sharing your joy, your bliss." Ok I'm gonna rephrase this several times so that it actual secretes the right cocktail of neuronal firings in my head to have it solidify at least for a short while. Ok so the minute you fear the judgement, or punishment, of some "other"--who somehow in the chain-of-command which you perceive has "power" over you--you will feel guilty about the things that make you happy. Then you only experience pleasure behind their backs. So that, sadly, when you are with them (the judge.mental one) the pleasures that you tell them are your pleasure are, in fact, lies...so you are acting in front of them in a way that you think they want to see you.

So, the minute I judge my thoughts its like i'm telling them to come back in disguise.

And when they come in disguise I will not know they are my friends.

When they are in disguise they turn up in dreams as monsters, demons (according to me at this moment). Or they turn up as fetishes that you can't understand why they've taken hold of you.

My vices are the culmination of the thoughts that I have REJECTED in the past.

Its like turning down your child who is cold and wet and shivering at the door. Leaving him in the cold because he was drunk...if you leave him cold at the door then, just wait and see what he looks like the next time he comes knocking.

Never interfere with others worldview. Show your thoughts that you are "LOVE." Then when they come to you with they're problems...you will learn that they, the troubled ones, are your TEACHERS. If you let your thoughts come to you naturally...and they will. They will because you are a magnet they come to you because now they see you are love...

Even the naked prostitute (someone who "should" in some Old Testament moral axis feel SHAMEFUL) will come an wash your feet with her hair.

I can only imagine they dreams I will have when I know that my thoughts can come to me with enough confidence to show their weak side.

Ok so here it is. What a "dream" would life become if all the tough guys, the monsters, came to you and shared the side of themselves in which they feel most naked. They will never come to someone who is preaching (there is a sick paradox in what I'm doing right now) . I have really resonated with the words that the thought I was just "with" produced though. And when it boils down to it I cannot judge myself ("the one," not the many thoughts) for preaching because, in fact, for ME ME ME that is the most naked I feel. I feel most naked when I'm preaching because I'm revealing a side of myself that I feel very guilty about. So you see, I am showing you who I really am by saying what I'm saying. So what you see is what you get. I am not trying to hide behind talking about current events, or other people's books. I find that a big fortification that I/WE hide within, at times, is when I talk about other people, "smart" people's ideas. That's the problem with intellectual conversations for me, is that they are talking about others and running away from themselves sometimes. See how I'm denouncing intellectuals now? See, that's crazy to be denouncing them...you see that a fascist thought bubbled up on to this e-page there that I unintentionally exposed...I have just been damning the intellectuals...that is sad and very funny.

The best thing to do is nothing.

Feel everything around you...react to it in the least turbulent way possible as long as it ensures your survival. The minute your survival is in danger FIGHT. Because if your life is in danger that means that consciousness is judging you...and like I said we don't stand for that type of reality tunnel.

Ok I have to sign off...and go for my hour break to a steam room to think about nothing. Or maybe better, to be nothing. This verbal splurge has been paid for by the Law Firm that employs me.

Amen

Aum.

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